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Teenagers are surrounded by a lot of confusing, often contradictory messages about behavior, choices and decision-making. They can make their way more easily if they’ve received clear messages from their parents. Clear messages help build a foundation for strong communication throughout the college years. The following list, adapted from “10 ways to send a clear message to your teenager,” by author Denise Witmer will help to get you heard:
- Know that your student is learning to think for him/herself so expect some errors in judgment.
- Use active listening skills and be careful not to use “door slammers.”
- Talk often with your student to bring out positive opinions, ideas, and behaviors and articulate your beliefs.
- Treat your student with the same respect you want given to you.
- Try not to yell. This will shut your student down and your message will not get through. Give yourself a “time out” if necessary.
- Be precise and detailed in your message about what you expect. Write it down and use an action plan if you feel it would be helpful.
- If you're giving instructions, write them down. This will help a college student remember what he/she is expected to do.
- Do activities together as well as with the whole family. Good times often encourage good conversations.
- Remember that you model what your student is learning. They will emulate your behaviors.
- Try not to shut your student out to show that you disapprove of his/her behavior. Take time if you need to, and then approach him/her about something that has upset you.
For more info, visit http://parentingteens.about.com/od/talktoyourteen/a/communication2.htm.
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